


It Takes Two

by veorlian



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Twins, Comedy, F/M, Humor, M/M, Prepare for trouble, Purple Hawke (Dragon Age), and make it double, the hawke twin au that nobody asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24148756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veorlian/pseuds/veorlian
Summary: “Andraste’s pressed silk knickers, Garrett, you’re not fighting the Arishok.”“Aww c’mon Marian, look at me; I’m shredded.”“He’s easily 300 pounds. What’s your plan, running around the room until he gets tired?”“…maybe.”The Tale of the Champion varies widely. Sometimes the hero is a mage, other times a warrior or a rogue. Sometimes they are diplomatic and kind, others snarky or scathing. But there is always only one hero, one Hawke. As it happens, this is wrong.Or, the one where Garrett and Marian are twins and chaos ensues.
Relationships: Anders/Male Hawke, Female Hawke/Varric Tethras
Comments: 5
Kudos: 66





	It Takes Two

There is a common cliché, with twins, that they have some unspoken telepathic connection with one another, or that they have some spooky, unnatural vibe. Garrett and Marian Hawke, so far as they were aware, didn’t have that. But boy did they sure like pretending they did to fuck with the locals in Lothering, and later Kirkwall. Merrill was convinced they could read each other’s mind for a full six months before they took pity on her and told her the truth.

They’d always been together. Garrett couldn’t remember a time where he didn’t have Marian hot on his heels, fresh from sowing chaos in the Hawke household, both cackling as their father raced after them. Talking with Marian was as easy as breathing, and being a sarcastic little shit with Marian was easier still. Whereas Carver and Bethany were a study in opposites, Garrett and Marian were two halves of a whole idiot. When they moved through the alleys of Lowtown and the hills of the Wounded Coast, they always did so together, regardless of who they brought with them. 

“Another one for the dwarf! How many have you got, Hawke?” Varric yelled over the sounds of battle.

“21 for me,” Garrett shouted back.

“Shit, I only have 17,” shouted Marian.

“What can I say, I have a gift.”

“You can cast fireball, that’s cheating!”

“Sorry sister, alas, not everyone can be as dashing and talented as I.”

“I don’t think dashing and talented are the right words for someone who slipped and fell on their ass trying to reach spindleweed earlier,” Marian said, mowing through a horde of enemies with her comically large greatsword. 

“Cheap words from the woman who burped in front of the viscount the other day,” said Garrett, smashing a group of mercenaries into the ground with a wave of force magic.

“That’s a low blow, Garrett.”

“You’re too short for a high one.”

“I’m only two inches shorter you jackass.”

“What’s that? I can’t hear you from all the way up here.”

They ended up back-to-back. They fought together like a well-oiled machine, and any enemies that got too close to the other were always blown back or sliced cleanly in half. 

.

“Oi, Anders!” Marian said on one occasion. They were fighting their way through Hightown, because for whatever inexplicable reason criminals saw a heavily armoured group of adventurers and decided that they would make a great target.

“Yes?” Anders replied.

“Do you want to get a drink with my brother later?”

“…are you…are you asking out Anders for me?” Garrett asked.

“No, I’m asking for Carver,” she said sarcastically. “Of course I’m asking for you.”

“Can a man not quietly pine for someone in peace around here?” Garrett complained, neatly ducking out of the way of an incoming sword and slashing at his attacker with the end of his staff.

“Go pine somewhere else, the hormones are making my hair stand on end.”

“Your hair does that anyways.”

“We have the same hair.”

“Yeah, but I make it work. You look like a wet mabari.”

“You smell like a wet mabari.”

“I’d like to get a drink,” Anders interrupted. Garrett paused mid-way through his comeback.

“Oh, well, um alright then,” he said, suddenly unsure, the tips of his ears turning red. “8 o’clock at The Hanged Man tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” said Anders, throwing up a barrier around Marian as she charged into a cluster of nearby enemies with reckless abandon.

.

It was different, after the Deep Roads. Bethany and Carver left with the Grey Wardens, and Leandra made it clear in no uncertain terms that she held her eldest children responsible for the loss. When Garrett and Marian laughed together, it was subdued, and their rapier-sharp wit became more defensive, a mask that they held up to protect themselves and one another. Still, they had each other, and they had their friends, and occasionally that same spark of humour shone through. 

“Well, one of us is going to have to change,” said Garrett. Their casual clothes for home had been ordered from the same tailor, and as it turned out he only worked in one design.  


“Regrettably, brother dear, it looks far better on me,” Marian replied.

“I’m so sorry to hear that your eyesight is going, sister, because anyone with two working eyes can see that I look phenomenal.”

“Shall we put it to a vote?”

“Race you to The Hanged Man?”

“Eat my dust.”

It was, as always, a tie. Anders had voted for Garrett, Varric had voted for Marian, and Fenris and Isabela had voted for both. Merrill refused to take part because she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Aveline had rolled her eyes and left.

“Betrayed again,” said Marian dramatically, holding a hand against her forehead as though she were going to faint away. “Varric is my only true friend.”

“Damn straight,” said the dwarf, laughing.

“Run away with me, Varric, we don’t need these heartless people,” she said, still mock-swooning, only half joking. 

“And have to live outside? You’re on your own, Hawke.”

“Et tu, Varric?” she asked. “I am met with betrayal on every side.”

“I’ll go with you, Marian!” Merrill piped up. Marian smiled and patted her on the hand.

“Varric, you’ve been replaced as my best friend,” she announced. 

“You wound me, Hawke, my heart will never recover,” Varric chuckled.

“You should’ve thought of that before you chose insulation over me,” Marian replied. They’d laughed, and drank far more than was good for them, and as always Marian had struggled to convince herself that she loved Varric as a strictly platonic friend. 

“You should tell him how you feel,” Garrett said once they were home.

“Oh because you’re a perfect model of expressing your love to someone?” Marian replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Oi, it’s not my fault you beat me to it.”

“After years of pining after each other.”

“Pot, meet kettle. I’m sure you’ve met each other.”

“Anyways, he said he’s been spoken for,” Marian said.

“Then he’s a fool,” Garrett replied. Marian snorted.

“Pot, kettle, I assume you’ve met?” she said. Garrett looked indignant and they argued back and forth until both fell asleep in the front foyer with Turkey curled up next to them.

.

“There is an argument to be made for applying it more widely,” Cullen said of the Rite of Tranquility. 

“Ah. I see,” said Marian, eyes dark.

“You see my point?”

“No,” said Marian. “I see my fist knocking out some of your teeth.”

“Come now, sister,” said Garrett, jaw tight. “I think he’d look much more fetching with a black eye.”

“Are you threatening a templar?” Cullen asked angrily.

“You catch on quick,” the twins said in unison. Varric and Aveline had to physically drag them away from the knight-commander, and they were placed in an involuntary lockdown until they’d calmed down. It was several weeks before they were allowed to return to the Gallows, and even then only under strict supervision. 

.

It was different, after they lost Leandra. They were quiet for a long time, sitting together.

“Was this…our fault?” Garrett asked.

“No,” said Marian, struggling to convince herself as well as her brother. “We couldn’t have known.”

“I’d say she wouldn’t want us to blame ourselves, but I don’t suppose you’d believe me,” he said. Marian laughed quietly, hollowly.

“No, I suspect she’s telling father that if Carver and Bethany were still around, rather than Grey Wardens, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Some time later, when the tears were spent, the others showed up at their door, bringing their overwhelming love with them. It was the same as always, but different. The others started staying over more regularly, filling the unbearably quiet house with noise. Varric got them another dog, insisting that Turkey was looking lonely. Anders got them several cats, insisting that Darktown was too dangerous for them. They threw themselves into battle, growing more reckless with every fight, to the point where they rotated through Anders’s clinic on an almost daily basis, sporting bruises, lacerations, and the occasional broken bone. They didn’t talk to anyone about Leandra, except for each other. 

.

“Andraste’s pressed silk knickers, Garrett, you’re not fighting the Arishok.”

“Aww c’mon Marian, look at me; I’m shredded.”

“He’s easily 300 pounds. What’s your plan, running around the room until he gets tired?”

“…maybe.”

“I’m the eldest, I get to fight him.”

“I’m the tallest, that ought to count for something.”

“Sure, it means you’ll tower over the others as you cheer for me from the sidelines.”

“Mariaaaaaan.” 

“It’s a good start, but you’ll want a bit more enthusiasm for the cheers.”

“Just be careful, yeah?”

“When am I not careful?”

“Do you want an alphabetical list or a chronological one?”

.

And so there they were, the Champions of Kirkwall, bedecked in their new armour, joking again that one of them was going to have to change. There they were, running around the city with their friends in tow. There they were, siding with the mages without a second thought. Marian joked about getting ‘fuck the templars’ tattooed on her ass, but was informed that the message might be misconstrued. 

Varric wrote his book, and only mentioned Marian, omitting any suggestion that she had a twin. He explained that having two heroes was too clunky from a narrative standpoint, people would get them confused, and so on. Garrett joked that his heart might never recover from the betrayal. 

.

After the chantry was destroyed, there were choices that had to be made. For the first time, the twins had to separate. Much of the world believed that there was only one Champion, and Marian insisted that she didn’t want to put Garrett and Anders at risk. Garrett had gone with Anders, and Marian had set out on her own. Their goodbyes were short, as they always were. There was no doubt for either of them that they’d see each other again. 

Varric lied through his teeth to Seeker Cassandra, describing the life of Marian Hawke, the sole Champion of Kirkwall. She took him to the conclave, and to the events that followed. Marian heard that the Temple of Sacred Ashes had been destroyed, and a part of her broke. She met up with Garrett and Anders on the road, and her brother hugged her tighter than he ever had before. When she eventually got a letter from Varric, she showed up at Skyhold ready to kick his ass for not writing sooner. 

.

“Inquisitor, meet Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall,” said Varric. Marian snorted.

“I don’t use that title much anymore. Too stuffy, makes me sound like a prat,” she said. 

.

It was Marian in the fade, Marian who offered to die to cover their escape. 

“I won’t let you,” Varric told her vehemently.

“You can’t stop me,” she replied. “I love you. And tell Garrett I’m sorry.”

“Tell him yourself,” he said, voice raw.

And then Inquisitor Lavellan, eyes red, asked Stroud to stay. He agreed, and Varric physically dragged Hawke back to the real world. 

.

That night, sitting in his tent, she and Varric talked for a very long time, and he told her the story of how Bianca got her name. Once he’d finished, they were both quiet.

“I do love you,” said Hawke, "in a cheesy, mushy kind of way.”

“Andraste’s ass, Hawke, how long have you been sitting on this?” he asked.

“Hmmm, since about five minutes after I met you, by my last estimate.”

“Shit, really?”

“It’s the chest hair, women just can’t resist it,” she said dryly. Despite himself, Varric laughed. 

“Well shit, Hawke, you’ve got me beat there.”

“Oh?”

“It took me ten minutes.”

“Ah, well, I see that our reputations for being dumbasses remain intact, then.”

“Hey, speak for yourself,” he said, laughing. Marian grinned and kissed him. And, amazingly, he kissed her back. 

The next day she left for Weisshaupt, and was delighted to find that Anders and Garrett were already there. The I-told-you-so that she received from Garrett was so loud that it bounced off the walls of the fortress, and his vitriolic shouts that greeted her recounting of the fade were even louder. 

.

Years later, the viscount of Kirkwall heard a knock at his door.

“Come in,” he said, and was immediately knocked over as two very enthusiastic Hawkes launched themselves at him. 

“I’m getting too old for this,” he complained.

“You’ve been saying that since we met you,” said Marian.

“You must be ancient by now,” Garrett agreed.

“Is that any way to talk to the leader of Kirkwall?”

The twins looked at one another and shrugged.

“It’s never stopped us before,” they said in one voice.

.

They say that there was only one Champion, but that’s not true. There were two.


End file.
